Dear Daughter-in-Law

Dear Daughter-in-Law

Theology in the Trenches

by Kathleen Kjolhaug

 

Dear Daughter-in-Law,

I was thinking that I should let you know what I am thinking. Now that you are married to our first born son, the one for whom I’ve prayed many a year for, you need to know a few things. First and foremost, you need to know that since I’ve been praying for him, it also means that I’ve been praying for you likewise. And as many a mom knows, we begin prayers for those future spouses when our babes are babes. I know your mama did the same, and for that I am most grateful.

Woman to woman, I want you to know that I will not try to come between you and your husband. Be assured that you will be able to run your house affairs without me meddling in that which only the two of you may fully understand. Each one has a calling and it’s difficult enough to try to understand my own, much less somebody else’s. And so, I will choose to trust that you know much better than I the direction your steps must take. I promise to not only honor and respect your decisions, but to reinforce them by building up that which you are called to in life.

I am so grateful for what you bring to the sacred table of your marriage. It blesses us all. I want you to know that the door to our home is always open. You may come and go as you please…but if you are busy taking care of the needs of your own home, we understand and will await our turn for time with you and your new husband.

What I want you to know most of all…is that if things seems awkward at times, it’s because I am trying to read your heart in order to respect boundaries. Families are sacred and the division among them is great these days; help me to grow in understanding your needs in order that I may better support.

What a privilege it is to love another in this world, and we are so very grateful you have chosen to pour that love out upon our son. As you are the first daughter I’ve received through marriage, I want you to know just how truly blessed I feel to watch your heart grow as one with our son. In Matthew 19:5 it says that a man should leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. I am touched to see this played out as I watch his heart beating as one with yours.

I was blessed to be raised by a mother who taught me how to equally love those who enter in through marriage. She treated each in-law equal to her own. That is a gift I did not know was imparted until the day you entered into marriage with our son. As we transition into this new phase of life, may our relationship be one which lifts up and sustains that which you are trying build within your own home. May I never be a stumbling block for you…but if I am…please tell me so I may ask your forgiveness.

With love,

To God be the glory … Amen.