"Dear Yonna-may..."

“Dear Yonna-may”

Theology in the Trenches

by Kathleen Kjolhaug

I’d heard the song several times on the radio. The tune ran through me like a thread connecting the wisdom of ages. The vocalist with a slight accent pierced my heart each time it came on the radio. When it played, I fell in love with the deep message in song.

However, for the life of me, I could not figure out what the words meant that were repeated throughout. “Dear Yonna-may…” I would bobble my head to the beat of the hallowed words and listened closely with my ear to the radio hoping to grasp clarity. I loved it! To me, new words are like whipped cream on top of hot cocoa. New phrases coined are novelty items that bring flowers to my heart. Like a quilter finding joy in color and fabric, I find joy in the rhythm and rhyme of words. “Dear Yonna-may…” Yet, the mysterious words remained a mystery.

After several months, I decided it was time to do a little research. I wanted to know the meaning behind the words and what the artist was trying to convey in his message. Much to my dismay, what I found wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.

What I discovered was that there existed no such words and that month after month I’d been living in a world that did not exist. Oh, it was a happy world alright, but the reality was, I was wrong in grasping what was being sung within this beautiful arrangement. Not only had I not known those words, but several of the words within the song had been caught wrong. I grieved the beauty of my “Yanna-may” and had to release the words that I’d come to love.

I did, however, find the actual words sung and they spoke just as deeply. “Dear Younger Me…” The story being told was that of someone speaking to a younger self, asking whether or not they’d do things the same way or if they would make different choices in their lives. As my heartstrings began to understand better the story being weaved, I was blessed.

And so, as I sat down to write tonight, I took hold of a picture taken when I was five-years-old that had been made into a keepsake paper-weight. It’s a reminder of days gone by. As I picked it up, I looked directly at it and began speaking to that five year old girl who would one day walk through things in life she knew nothing of…and the conversation went like this.

“Dear Yonna-may…”

And that is when I heard His still small voice:  You knew not what life would bring. You have been given much love and much grace from Me, your Father. You knew not the heart ache that would be spun from the very depths of that love which pours out. You pour out because I pour in. This is not a road of perfection, but a road of forgiveness. Each day as you receive My forgiveness, simply turn and do likewise…for those are My seasons of life, My seasons of love. Sometimes you will face things that look particularly difficult, and you will wonder how you will get through. It is during those times you must trust Me. You see, I’ve already gone before you, and the burdens you carry are Mine. “Dear Yanna-may,” I created you and really…it’s okay…you need not fear for I have been with you always, I am with you always…and I go before you always.

Colossians 1:15-18 speaks:   “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” 

I can hold it together…because He holds all things together.  Amen.