Unknowingly

 

Unknowingly

Theology in the Trenches

By Kathleen Kjolhaug

We cannot unknow that which we now know. Seeing is believing they say, until we walk away from where we’ve stood—amidst the throngs. Standing alone in the quiet sheds light on the Truth of the matter. Did we hear? Did we see? Do we know? And if so, now what?

That’s where I’m at. Sitting in the quiet of the early morning before the sun comes up on this Sunday—day of all days when we are invited to rest. To rest in Him in more ways than just physically is what we are invited into. The rest brings pause as it should after a week of much to do about who knows what, when, where, and why. We try, of course to take pause, but rest assured, it isn’t always that reassuring nor restful.

My time clock has shifted ever so slightly. I have returned from a pilgrimage, where standing amidst the multitudes lifting prayers, praises, and hearts towards the heavenly came easy enough. The rhythm of the of early mornings opened hearts to the invitation of quiet. Walking in step where the saints who’ve gone before us was holy ground. Like a foretaste of the feast to come it was, and truth-be-told, the communion of saints who walked along side, humbled.

Echoing deep was “Lord I am not worthy…” and we know we are not. We are worthy only because He is worthy. Internal groanings bring forth fruit—ever so gently as the reality of what is to come embeds. He brings forth the fruit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23).

Thus, we pray: “Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus” (Luke 1:42). As the fruit was born and the Holy Spirit pours out, we honor that which He honored, and receive what He pours out—the fruit of the Spirit. It’s an internal churning of sorts—reality born anew in what the Almighty has done, is doing, and will do as we pause on this day of days—His day—the Son’s Day—Sunday. This day given as pure gift to not only behold Him but to be held by Him as He resurrects that which was His from the beginning—each of us.

When we take pause, we already know. We know the Truth of the matter. “When we deny Him, He will deny us before His heavenly Father” (Matt. 10:33). But if we are unfaithful, He will remain faithful because He cannot deny Himself” (2 Timothy 2:12-13). Backing it up to verse 11, light is shed beyond measure. “If we have died with Him, we shall also live with Him.” Which leads us to what this is all about. It’s about Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loves me and gave himself for me.”

And the pilgrims traveled. He beckoned as we respond, “Lord I am not worthy…but only say the Word and my soul shall be healed” (Matt. 8:8). Our knowing can no longer be unknown. The journey shed light. “Honor your father and mother” (Ex. 20:12).  And so, we do—in more ways than one.  Amen.