Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts

Theology in the Trenches

By Kathleen Kjolhaug

 

So, I was thinking…

 

…it will be the first time in twenty three years that I will begin the school year in a building where I will have not even one of my own children in it.

 

…perhaps I can actually make it to work on time…as my excuse has always been that we are a one shower stall family…which happens to hold the one tub which belongs to said family.

 

…this will be sort of sad (to not have them in the building that is).

 

…I might have more cash flow because I will not have a senior to equip with pictures and the likes thereof. But perhaps it’s like the time I actually believed I’d have more cash flow once the kids were out of formula and diapers. It turned out to be a false positive as the dollars for diapers merely transitioned into sports shoes…which transitioned into graduation needs…which transitioned into money needed for college…which transitioned into weddings…and now perhaps that cash flow will be put to use for gas to go see the grandkids…and help out with formula and diapers…and so I guess that’s why it’s called “cash flow”…because it does.

 

…perhaps I’ll set some new goals or rediscover some old ones not yet reached.

 

…it might be good to take hold of my own dreams once again because even though I’ve enjoyed helping breathe life into the dreams of others…sometimes it was merely received as hot air…and so it goes…

 

…it’s sort of nice having an empty nest because once it’s all cleaned up around here, everything stays put. I liked that until I realized that I thrive on organizing and reorganizing. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I find that I have a little too much lollygag time on my hands while trying just a bit too hard to enjoy it. It doesn’t seem quite natural…yet.

 

…perhaps I should carry the graduation gown (which has been hanging on the door of our closet) upstairs to take its place beside the other five in storage as it’s been almost three months now. I’m back from following through on that thought…and truth-be-told it wasn’t all that bad.

 

As I pray that the Lord fill my hands, heart, and mind with what He has next, He assures that His plans are perfect and that I must “Be still and know that He is God” Psalm 46:10. And, try as I might, that part is really hard. And so I silently pray…help me. Amen.