They Forgot to Mention a Few Things at the Altar

They Forgot to Mention a Few Things at the Altar

Theology in the Trenches

By Kathleen Kjolhaug

When they asked me at the altar to accept this man to be my lawfully wedded husband, and the response given was, “I do,” I think they forgot to mention a few things. They forgot to mention that he’d eventually morph into someone completely different throughout the years of marriage, and as he was mine to have and to hold from that day forward, indeed they did forget to mention a whole lot more.

They forgot to mention that once the kids came, new areas of his personality would open up, and I would be privy to watch it unfold. They forgot to mention that when push came to shove around here, he’d be the one pushing them on the swing, the wagon, the hammock, the bicycles and on whatever it was that moved. They forgot to mention that the only shoving he would do would be more like a nudge to get me out of the way so he could help alleviate any stress, pain, or conflict year in and year out.

They forgot to mention that once the kids went off to school he would become a cheerleader, a backseat driver, and their number one fan at whatever it was they chose to do.  He was and is the go to guy for each season of their lives. They say the wisest man that ever lived was Solomon. Solomon must have been a dad because ours all flock back to theirs for advice from time to time. Rarely is it in my direction…for they seem to know my thoughts.  His are safe, and his advice is always given with tender integrity…and so they go…and he receives them…just as they are…in love. They are blessed. And, they know it.

At the altar, they forgot to mention that once our children were married, he’d tenderly direct his own back to their own…rather than give counsel where he shouldn’t. He models healthy boundaries as they watch him walk his walk rather than listen to him talk his talk.  Talk is cheap and his famous quote stands. “You can never take back words once they’re said.”  It’s easier for him to live this out than me. I marvel at that.  At times, I’m in awe of that.

At the altar, they forgot to mention that my husband would turn into a grandpa, and upon doing so would pick up the next generation to have and to hold…just like he promised he would the day he said, “I do.” They forgot to mention that his worn, weathered, cattle feeding hands would be able to tenderly touch and cradle the next generation in loves pure Light. They forgot to mention that his full head of thick brown hair would turn to thinning silver gray and that the beauty of that thinning crown would be well worn upon a head that is bent looking into the face of new born babes brought into this world by his own.

They forgot to mention that this man at the altar would not be the same man I married the day I said, “I do.” They forgot to tell me he would be so much more.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 explains how any of this is possible…and how it is possible to even say, “I do.”

“Where a lone man may be overcome, two together can resist. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”  Amen.