Dear Denise

Dear Denise

Theology in the Trenches

By Kathleen Kjolhaug

 

 I received your letter today. Thank you for your candid words. I read them several times. It was a puzzle to me at how puzzled I was in my lack of knowing how to respond or if I need respond at all. You convicted me on several levels. Today, as I wrestle with what to say, my words may not be sufficient but let me assure you…Love is…and it is from that which I write.

As you expressed your most inward desire to give to others in your semi-retirement years and be part of a mission minded organization, I could relate. Purpose driven lives, in my estimation, are deeply gratifying as we connect with others for reasons well beyond ourselves. You mentioned that you need a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and that you long for a work environment which looks out for the betterment of others.

Your longing for a sense of community was among the many things you were craving. But then came the words…your words to which I was ashamed to say…I had no words.  They read, “I am craving a sense of community, often supplied through a faith based relationship, not available to my atheist soul.”

From the depths of those words rose within me two things, sadness and hope. The sadness wasn’t for you, but for me. You see, I love you, and I was saddened because so many years have passed that I’ve known you and of His unconditional love for you, His grace given to you, and His blood shed for you. And, if I have failed to reflect His mercy, grace, and Love…I want to ask you to forgive me for it is not mine alone…but yours as well.

The second thing I felt was hope. Your words gave way a treasure buried deep within and if I have not told you before what I see in you, I will do so now. I see that His grace is sufficient. I see His compassion alight within you. I see a person who is made in the image of Christ as you reflect Him to the world. I see His love calling you, and as you listen to His still small voice, be assured He is awakening your soul to draw nigh.

As I reflected upon your statement of faith, I realized there was only one word which separates us. Although you might suspect it to be the word “atheist,” it isn’t. Rather, what separates is the word “not” … for without that word it would read as follows:

“I am craving a sense of community, often supplied through a faith based relationship ______ available to my atheist soul.”

For in chapters 17 of Luke and Matthew it validates that your faith need be as small as a mustard seed to move mountains. If I could plant that seed, I would, but truth-be-told, He does and He has planted that within. And, if there is so much as flicker of what might be…be open. Be open to all He has for you…for it is He who calls…it is a gift. It’s nothing we earn…and it’s free. He’s done it all. It is finished.

Forgive me if I have not faithfully demonstrated that Love. Humans fail. He never will.  Amen.