Sears...

Sears

Theology in the Trenches

By Kathleen Kjolhaug

Perhaps through the eyes of a ten year old, the metal doll house in the window of the Sears store down on main looked like a mansion. Granted, proportionately it took up a mere quarter of the display case at best, but to one able to peer in at eye level window height on tip toe, the dimensions looked much bigger. Place that within the heart of a child, and it was a must have on the Christmas list. Add to that the fact that your mama works at the store, and you got yourself one big pile of hope that it will land under your tree Christmas morn.

Mom knew the heart of her little girl, and a busy mama she was as much more than her little girl did she have on her mind. There were six of us in all, and I’ll guarantee you that all six of them she did have on her mind. She was a sensitive one who tried to fulfill wish lists, but she was also practical, and fair, and wise, and honest. However, when it was Christmas time, honesty would be a gamble as ploys were necessary to keep surprises a secret. And so I held out hope that the doll house would soon be mine.

With only two weeks to go before Christmas, a friend and I walked by the window where the doll house had its temporary home, and it was nowhere in sight! I, however, knew better. I knew that mom had, without a doubt, tucked it away for safe keeping. I just knew it. It was about that same time though when the rumblings began that someone had come into the store and unbeknownst to her, they purchased it while she was not on duty.

The more she insisted, the more I thought she was trying to cover up the surprise. I held out hope that she had the doll house hidden safely away for me, her Christmas hopeful. I smiled and went along with things because I just knew that come Christmas morning I would have the doll house.

Christmas morning came. Under the tree we dove, and as gift after gift was unwrapped, I soon realized that the doll house was nowhere to be seen. As the conflicting feelings of knowing I should be grateful for what I’d gotten and the sheer disappointment of knowing I’d never get the hoped for doll house came crashing down…I did what every good little girl does. I was thankful for what I had gotten so as not to disappoint mama. After all, she had worked hard to give me the very best she had to offer.

Thank God faith isn’t something sitting in a Sears window waiting to be given to just one who is lucky enough to buy it. Nope…it’s way better than that. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Faith is assurance.

I hope for much this Christmas. My list is a big hearted list. And as He scratches things off one by one…letting me know that they are not to be…I hold out hope that He knows what’s best. In Him alone is my assurance. I continue to  trust. I do not put my trust in things, or people, but in Him alone. Perhaps next year he will choose to give what is on my list and in my heart, but for today, I am thankful for what He does give…and in Him alone do I place my trust.  Amen.