Rumor Has It...

The Rumor Mill

Theology in the Trenches

by Kathleen Kjolhaug

Rumor has it that some of my kids have been talking. Amongst themselves they have been talking. One of them let it slip that there was a little chit-chat that perhaps mom needed, at best, a class on facebook etiquette. Long story short, apparently I “like” too many things and what I concluded from the information given me was that it must bug them.

Now, I must confess that perhaps bugging them isn’t the worst thing in the world, but truth-be-told, I had no idea they were counting my “likes.” It became quite obvious to me that we definitely all agreed on one thing; I was clueless. I was clueless they were paying attention, clueless they were able to tell how many things I “liked” or didn’t “like,” and clueless that it wasn’t appropriate to do what I was doing.

You see, when I grew up, my mother, their grandmother, taught me real live face to face people etiquette. When someone paid you a compliment, you let them know you appreciated it. When someone gave you something, you sent a hand written thank you note, and when someone validated you in any way, you let them know you were grateful. The only way I know how to translate those manners to the world of facebook is to tip my hat with a “like.”

Whether it is a picture, a quote, or a little story that I’ve posted, when someone gives a shout out by clicking the “like” button, I think it’s sort of nice to acknowledge it with a “thank you” of sorts. Rather than just ignoring others and sending the signal that I hadn’t noticed that they had noticed, I thought I was being polite in doing what I did. Apparently, it is not cool to not play it cool.

Perhaps the solution to the generational gap could be that those in charge of facebook would place a LARGER “like” button on there for us oldsters to press. That way when the younger folks see it all lit up, they would better understand that it is generational etiquette on display…nothing more…nothing less.

The second item that apparently irritated the conversationalists was the content of my posts. Apparently, the posts were too often spiritually related and here is where things were not real clear to me. If I caught it correctly, they thought I was sending subliminal messages. I just have to take this opportunity to let each one know that by now, they should all be aware that rather than sending anything in subliminal format, I would much rather tap it out via the weekly column.

The tenderness in which one revealed all of this was touchingly caught; that alone was a gift. However, I just gotta say that as much as I do not mind learning proper facebook etiquette, embedded deep within is something more. Embedded deep within is the refusal to leave people out or feeling shunned. And so, I take all precautions in life, as well as every opportunity, to make sure people know that I appreciate their efforts. I guess that when I step back to assess this situation, it would mean that I might have to continue to press “like” when I am so moved.

Job 4:4 sort of isolates the passion behind my words and the “likes” of what I write. “Your words have helped the tottering to stand, and you have strengthened feeble knees.”

They say we teach that which we most need to learn ourselves. Thus, the words I post help stabilize and strengthen my own feeble knees from time to time. In the end, I have to say that I not only “like” but “love” each and every one of my conversationalists, and I know that deep down, they “love” me.  I don’t need a button to press to translate that truth, and for that I am forever grateful.  Amen.