Mary's Miracle

Mary’s Miracle (Part 1)

Theology in the Trenches

by Kathleen Kjolhaug

“The beauty of the miracle is that the miracle happened even when it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to...and I thank God for that every day!” Mary.

The miracle made itself known at a point when Mary least expected. But as He knows our needs before we even ask, perhaps it wasn’t so unexpected after all. Before her heart received the gift of miracle, it was first broken. Into a million tiny shards, it shattered when Abel died. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Son’s don’t leave this earth before mamas and every mama knows that. It’s sort of an unspoken code in the book of life. Isn’t it? We assume we will outlive our children. However, that’s not always the case, and so it was with Mary. This is her story.

Life was good. For a while, all was well with Mary. Struggles within the norm prevailed but nothing too out of the ordinary. After all, she’d married well. Her husband whom she’d selectively chosen had met Mary’s number one criteria. He was a believer.

Years later after much wear and tear within the marriage, she was left with little choice but to leave. With her children grown, she held it together the best she could by continuing to press into prayer. It came naturally as her faith had been strong since childhood. It was a gift she could never put into words other than those spoken to her precious Lord.

Once settled into her new home, Abel, the middle child of three, came for a visit one weekend. He hadn’t been feeling well for quite some time now, but he was 19. What’s a mama to do when her son refuses to see a doctor? I’ll tell you what we do. Nothing…because we can’t make people do what they don’t want to do.

Abel left for work the following day and shortly thereafter, a phone call came that every mama dreads. Abel had decided to go visit a doctor after all, and the results were in. It didn’t look good. Mary remembered the words spoken that day. The ultimatum was clear “Get help now or you will die in four days. You have a very aggressive form of leukemia.”

This sort of news will grow up even a 19 year old. Abel chose the medical advice given that day in September and because he did, the leukemia went into remission. By November he was given two options. He could continue with chemo to stave off the advances of this disease or, he could be the recipient of a bone marrow transplant which had the potential to cure. Although the latter chances were only twenty percent, it gave hope. In two weeks he must decide

Just shy of the two weeks, Abel relapsed. Once back in the hospital, he quickly made his decision. A transplant it would be and as Betsy, his sister, was a partial match, she would be the donor.  January would be the month in which this would happen and once completed the 100-day countdown to being home free would begin. (100 days is the mile marker indicative of success.)

Take this information for what it’s worth. It tells you the back story but not necessarily the inner workings of a mama’s heart nor her swaying world laid bare upon the table of grace. Mary shared the following. “I never prayed so hard in my life! I bargained with God. I pleaded. I begged Him to not take my son but to let Him live!”

May 7^th… The100 day celebration took place.

May 8^th… A follow-up doctor’s visit dashed all hope. The leukemia was back.

May 17^th… Abel died.

Silence.  Pause.  Breathe.  (to be continued)

This story will be continued for the next two weeks. It is the only time I’ve ever written a column that will expand over three weeks. I pray that you, the reader, will hang with me…as it is a story worthy of it. I pray you find it a gift to be invited into Mary’s journey. She shared this in honor of all who have gone through the depths of despair and beyond. May you be blessed.  Amen.

Mary’s Miracle (Part 2)

Theology in the Trenches

(Mary’s world was rocked by the death of her son, Abel, who had an aggressive form of leukemia. At the age of 19, within the span of months, he died. Despite her desperate pleas to the Lord, He chose to take Abel home. Now Mary’s world lay broken and her heart shattered into a million pieces.

May 7^th… The100 day celebration took place.

May 8^th… A follow-up doctor’s visit dashed all hope. The leukemia was back.

May 17^th… Abel died.

Silence.  Pause.  Breathe. 

Unfortunately when mamas do any of these while in crisis mode it often looks as though we are drowning. Although Mary’s world was now still, it was anything but quiet. Her deafening cries wanted to appeal her case before the Magistrate upon the throne. When Mary paused, internally she was a thrashing machine chewing up everything in her path. When she tried to breathe…the air entered her lungs in gasps of desperation at the loss of her very soul that took its last breath when Abel died. Every fiber of her being was in fetal position longing to join her son in death.

She would have gladly given her own life months ago. That’s what mama’s do. Mamas carry a wellspring of love for their offspring. Yes, in a heartbeat, Mary would have given her own to Abel. But it was not to be. He was gone.

Now, Mary slept. She slept hard, and she slept often. What else was there to do when you pray and it appears as though nobody is listening? Her son was now gone after all that prayer; she had nothing left to give anyone…not even herself. As Abel had slipped away, she’d slipped away with him drowning now in a sea of sorrows. It was all just too much.

Depression racked the core of her being. Therapy came without end to no end. The only way out for Mary was to let this life slip right on past so she, too, could be with Abel. After all, that’s what she wanted. Why couldn’t she finally have something she wanted? If He wasn’t going to give her what she prayed for…she’d just take it. That’s it…I’ll take what I want and as life has no meaning now…I’d would rather be done than live on.

One day, with nothing else to give, her therapist asked if she’d ever considered going to Cursillo, a Christ-centered retreat for adults. As the therapist thought this might be good for her, Mary poked around for information about it in hopes that something might surface. Out of nowhere, it seemed, a couple approached her and offered to sponsor her on this very retreat. In Mary’s own words, “I don’t have any idea why I agreed to it, but I did! I only said yes because I figured I could back out if I changed my mind.”

On a Thursday night in January, the same time of year that Abel had begun his 100-day countdown, Mary went. Physically she was present but mentally had checked out at the point of entry. Yet, even Mary knew deep down that just because we check out does not mean that God is not checking in. He was not hindered by Mary’s stubborn heart in the least because He is an expert in the field of heart transplants. (To be continued)

Next week is the final week of this three-part story. You will read in Mary’s own words what went down during this time. I pray you continue to be blessed by Mary’s story.

Spoiler Alert:  “I will give you a new heart. And put a new spirit within you. I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ez. 36:26).

Watch for the miracles.  Amen.

Mary’s Miracle (Part 3)

Theology in the Trenches

(Mary’s world was rocked by the death of her son, Abel, to an aggressive form of leukemia. At the age of 19, within the span of months, he died. Despite her pleas of desperation with the Lord, He chose to take Abel home. Now Mary’s world lay broken and her heart shattered into a million pieces. Through a series of little miracles, she finds herself at a four-day retreat where she was less than thrilled to be in attendance.)

Mary’s recollection of what went down during those four days:

Day 1:  Silent retreat time…Mary was not a fan.

Day 2:  Song ushered in the light of day. The theme and music chosen months ago through prayer and supplication were beginning to stir within Mary. It was subtle, but she was attentive. “Surely the Presence of the Lord is in this Place” was sung in unison and soon, her tears freely flowed. “This was the song sung as we made our way into church behind Abel’s casket! The very casket held not only Abel, but love handwritten from one who would now never finish growing up with his older brother.” But one song was just one song…or was it? She wondered. 

That evening as she returned to her room, an envelope lay in wait upon her pillow. Gently opening it, the gift of butterfly fluttered out. Like the wings of the butterfly before her, Mary’s heart began to open. You see, her sponsors gave her this gift of hope, but Mary saw it differently. “Compassionate Friends” had held her hand since Abel died and this was the symbol of that group. Her sponsors knew nothing of what this symbolized to Mary and even though the stirrings within continued to grow, she was still not ready to admit that it was anything but coincidental.

Day 3:  As Mary sat with one of the pastors at the retreat, she could no longer hold back. “Maybe prayer works for other people, but it hasn’t worked for me,” she sobbed. “I’ve prayed for several things throughout my lifetime and each time it never turned out the way I’d hoped. Now, I’m not sure I even believe!” There, she said it! Right out in the open it was, and she had no regrets whatsoever!

Somehow she made her way back to the gathering for the final talk that evening, and as she entered, was handed a slip of paper with her name upon it. Isaiah 43 was in bold letters across the top and this time, as she read it, something broke within.  “But now…He who created you, Mary, He who formed you, Mary…I have redeemed you, Mary; I have summoned you, Mary…I will be with you, Mary…Since you, Mary, are precious…I will bring your children, Mary…everyone who is called by name, Mary, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made…”

How can that be? She trembled. This is the very verse that hung over the baptismal font when Abel was baptized! This was the same verse that hung over his casket as he was laid to rest!   

Then, the pastor spoke, “Remember who you are!” As his words bolted from his lips, her chin jolted up and her heart was fully opened to receiving all that was before her. On display was nothing short of His holiness as those were the very words she used to speak into each of her children as they would leave the house for any occasion. Now, those words were being spoken to her…spoken by another who knew not the miracle of words he was proclaiming over her. But Mary did. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, God’s presence truly was in this place.

That same evening, an angel pin was gifted her and once again it was from her sponsors who’d purchased it weeks before. Unbeknownst to them, it was the exact replica of a pin she’d received as a gift from a friend at Abel’s funeral but it had been lost along the journey!

Day 4:  The final wall which had been encasing Mary’s heart broke as the last song was sung for the retreat weekend. The words “Shine Jesus Shine” sent her forth. Little did those who had prepared this weekend know that this, too, had been sung as the recessional at Abel’s final church service upon this earth.

In Mary’s words, “I had experienced the funeral of Abel from the beginning to end throughout this whole weekend, but this time…I received it in the Light of grace!”

And now you, too, know Mary’s miracle.

I wish I could give you a website that would help you learn more about Mary’s story, but I can’t. You see, Mary shared this as a gift. She’s a mama just like you and just like me. Her only desire is for you to tuck it away within your own heart to better see the miracles He is writing across the lines of your own story. Those lines began vertically and continued to be fashioned horizontally as He penned Himself in red.

Before this weekend of healing, Mary had only one desire. “I want my heart to be softened. It has become so very hard!” she spoke to her sister Beth who concurred that indeed this would be a good prayer for where two or more are gathered, there He is…and was…and will forever be.

Back in Ez. 36:26 He promised, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you. I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” As He did for Mary, He will do for you.  

Watch for the miracles.  Amen.