Just One Day

Just One Day

Theology in the Trenches

By Kathleen Kjolhaug

“Just one day,” they say.  “It’s only one day!  In a matter of hours, it’s over.” In other words, these infamous lines are hinting at the financial component of a wedding, and people are trying to say, “Spend smart!”

I’ve heard these words.  I’ve even been known to say them from time to time, but nothing can come close to understanding how empty they actually sound when you are only three weeks away from the wedding of your daughter.  I tried to make this story general in content as I wrote, but it sounded so very hollow.  I rewrote the words so many times that in exasperation, I finally deleted them altogether and now, as I write, I must get personal.  You see, the price tag is nothing compared to the emotional moments that spring up in the midst of the preparations.

Our Maria is getting married.  She is our Petunia, but I can’t even tell you why, we just called her that.  We loved that description of her, and we called her twin sister Daffodil.  I guess we always wanted them to feel special, and pretty, and fun, and happy and every so often, we’d call them these flowerful names.

You see, the walk up the aisle truly began twenty-three years ago.  It began with her first steps and even as far back as her first smile.  We knew it would draw another, and my famous words to Pete went like this.  “You’d better be close to that one…because the first person to capture her heart through kindness will win it forever.”  In other words, I wanted her heart to be guarded by him until she was truly ready to give it over…forever.  And now, after 23 years, she has chosen the one to give that heart to.  It’s no longer ours.  Oh, we still have a piece of it, but it’s in the hands of another to help build and carry her through the rest of her life.

The story that best depicts our Maria is quite typical of her growing up years.  One day, when she was little, I’d just finished a lecture on how she needs to be careful around strangers.  We ran through scenario after scenario to help her understand how serious it was.  When you are eight, it’s hard to see the big picture, but truly, we tried to paint it.  Once we were finished, I asked.  “Now, let’s say a stranger comes up to you and you know you aren’t supposed to go with them.  But, they tell you how pretty you are and they promise you a piece of pink bubble gum.  What would you do then?”

Thinking I’d gotten through to her and that she’d be tough in her response, she simply said, “Oh…I would go!”  She smiled and skipped happily out of the room.  We knew then that it would take a light hearted touch to capture her tenderness because some things in life never change.  Oh, we don’t claim she is perfect, none of us are, but we love her with all of our heart and desire so much for her life ever after.

Walking down the aisle isn’t a job I envy.  It is an honor to do, but physically letting go of the reigns and handing a daughter over to another is difficult.  Pete gives each of the young men who enter the lives of our daughters a “talk.”  Thus, begins the road of communication that speaks clearly. “Treat her with respect because she is precious and worthy.”  And, indeed they do.

The steps to the altar are numbered.  Each one represents one step closer to letting go and trusting that those whom they’ve chosen will hold them as dearly…and she them.  Three weeks to go and the plans are in place.  The wheels have been set in motion and we trust…we believe…that indeed those plans yet to unfold are His.  “Train up a child in the way they shall go and they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).”  Hand in hand for the rest of their lives…they, too, shall train up their children.  We pray this in Your name.  To God be the glory forever and ever.  Amen.