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Theology in the Trenches

By Kathleen Kjolhaug

 

Today’s column captures the essence of what “Theology in the Trenches” has tried to give voice to throughout the years:  God and the Human Predicament. I signed up for a course entitled just that my freshmen year of college as it was suggested I get my required Theology course, “out of the way” so to speak. It was one of the few courses still open, and that should have been my first clue that it wasn’t the most highly sought after course on campus. Upon entering, I took my seat among the other five students in the room and slunk deeply into my chair.

Oh great, I thought, we will all be called upon to contribute. No blending in here.

The elderly nun up front began lecturing. Feedback is what she wanted, and so I gave it. Much to my chagrin, I received C’s upon most papers submitted. Puzzled, I asked Harry, the young man sitting next to me who seemed quite filled with self confidence, what his secret to success was. What he said changed my life; it was the moment I found my voice.

“It’s easy,” he said. “To get a good grade in here, you just write what she wants instead of your own thoughts. You give her what she’s looking for.”

Once I received my final grade, I decided to seek my professor out. I walked into her office and firmly but gently pointed out that she had chosen to grade according to like-minded thinkers and not according what had been asked. After all, when she asked, “What do you think?” that is exactly what I thought she wanted to hear…my thoughts. Once finished, I looked up.

To this day, I still remember the single tear streaming down her cheek as she expressed that she meant no harm. She quietly offered to change my grade, and I, just as quietly, turned it down. What I desired was for her to validate the thoughts of others in future classes and not reward those who had lied in order to match her thoughts. My grade would forever stand: Theology: C+.

That was the beginning of finding my voice. It emerged slowly, but now in this world where wrong seems right, I find myself erupting from time to time. We all live in the trenches of life, and from that surfaces questions:  How do we give voice to our belief system, our Theology, if you will? How does one live out that belief authentically on a daily basis in the most extraordinarily ordinary circumstances?

Today, a tiny droplet of that authenticity played out. As it’s the catalog season, solicitations to purchase are sent our way and no doubt your way as well. I like some, while some I don’t and sort them accordingly. If they make me feel nostalgic and happy, I keep them. If not, I toss. So far, those which made the cut: L.L. Bean…keep. Pampered Chef...keep.  American Girl…keep. Voice of the Martyrs…toss. Too much chaos, I justified. Too much same old stuff all over the news, and I surely don’t want to read more mess this time of year.

Picking up the American Girl catalog, it took mere seconds before I made my run. I ran with it in hand to the garbage where the Voice of the Martyrs had been placed, and promptly switched them out. As I sat down to read, I found encouragement rather than the discouragement I thought I would. It read as follows:

“As we hear news about advances of the self-proclaimed Islamic State (ISIS), the Syrian refugee crisis and disturbing legal decisions in our own nation, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by evil in the world. Despite the evil, we have the same assurance that Joseph had after being sold into slavery in Egypt: ‘You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good.’” (Gen. 50:20).

And as we live out our Theology, may we remember to find voice…voice in the authentic. His ways bring life everlasting and true nostalgia is found in the familiar, the familiar of “Jesus Christ our Lord who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow” (Hebrews 13:8).  Amen.