A real show stopper...

“And…They’re Vegan!”

Theology in the Trenches

by Kathleen Kjolhaug

As I quickly slipped on several different pairs of shoes at the shoe store, I soon hit upon a show stopper. The comfortable beauties looked pretty snazzy upon my feet. Admiring them in the mirror, the young sales clerk chirped, “And…they’re vegan!”

I jerked my head up. The expression upon my face must have suggested further information was needed on my part because she spoke right up. “Not a spec of any animal products in this shoe what-so-ever!”

“Ahhhh…” I simply said as my mind wandered back a few years. I’ve raised enough children to recall the distinct odor that only non-leather shoes give off when under duress. Just as quickly, I slipped them off.

Once I made my decision and walked up to pay for the items in tow, the same clerk pointed out a couple of more products. Conveniently parked right next to the payment portion of the counter were items that promised to increase the longevity of my shoes. One was to waterproof the felt; the other would protect the cork area. After the vegan sales pitch, I should have known better, but I told her to go ahead and just toss one of each into my sack.

As she rang up the total due, she added. “And this spray can be put on any type of cloth for protection. You can even put it on your umbrella!”

I said not a word but as I made my way out and back to hubby who was waiting patiently, I ran that line through my head several times before getting into his pick-up. As I was beginning to question my ability to grasp what she was telling me, I decided to run it by him.

“Since when does one spray an umbrella in order to make it waterproof? I mean, in all my years of living, I don’t think I’ve ever stood under an umbrella that wasn’t already able to keep the water out! After all, isn’t that the point of an umbrella?”

And…as he responded it was the first time I was able to gain insight into the logic that exemplifies precisely why we have had trouble communicating our entire married lives. He responded, “If the material isn’t waterproof, why then you would spray it, of course!”

And…once again I repeated myself more emphatically. “Why on earth would I buy an umbrella if it isn’t already able to keep the water out? Who makes umbrellas out of material that isn’t waterproof?”

In self defense he quickly claimed that he had never used an umbrella in his entire life and wondered aloud how was he supposed to know that the material wouldn’t just leak water right through?

However, what I heard him say was that he agreed with the sales clerk’s logic, and not mine. If he could understand so easily how she thought, why couldn’t he understand how I thought? It didn’t hold water if you ask me! 

Isaiah 1:18 gives insight. “Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool.” And…that doesn’t make much sense either. Unless, of course, you understand what true love is because then…and only then…does it make all the sense in the world.  Amen.