Two kisses and a block away...three...

Etiquette

Theology in the Trenches

by Kathleen Kjolhaug

Did you know that it is not polite to purchase the last ear of corn within a basket of someone at a market place? After all, where would one go if they had nothing left to sell?

Perhaps that is the goal, to sell all we have and go home. It might be for some. But when the market is in South America, and the marketplace is your community, your social gathering point, and your place of employment which brings fulfillment, then you do not take that away from another by purchasing their last piece of corn in the basket…or their last piece anything for that matter.

As Peace Corp Volunteers, we were taught well. We were taught the proper etiquette within cultures we otherwise would not have known. As I traveled from one country to the next within the area, I utilized this knowledge well. Respect was extended to my fellow human beings and unless taught, I would not have known what that plumb-line was.

As I spoke to my colleagues at work one day about my Peace Corps days, I explained that it was etiquette to clap one’s hands together once you were within several feet of the entrance of any home. I pointed out that since there was no doorbell, it was respectful to let them know that someone would soon be at their “door” so to speak. It was a means of courtesy.

In Paraguay, the country in which I served, it was etiquette to place a kiss upon each cheek when greeting another. However, when in Brazil (which by the way was merely one block away from where my little wooden house stood), it was customary to kiss three times. First on one cheek, then on the other, and then back to the first once again. Awkwardly bumping a nose from time to time was secondary to the overall mutual respect offered when greeting another.

One doesn’t have to travel far to experience norms in etiquette. At my alma mater, for example, it was customary to greet people with a hug. Later in life, I realized how much of a community builder it was. No matter who you were, it was a way of letting others know they were accepted.

When traveling near or far one always looks for some thread of the familiar, a norm, or etiquette which feels like home. It might be as simple as a hug which greets. It might be a familiar prayer prayed, help offered, or inclusion extended. It might be as simple as a whistle while you work shout out bringing back memories of a father that did the very same.

Thank God He provides the plumb-line for norms, etiquette, and respect. No matter where we are, this knowledge of truth stays constant. Luke and Matthew give voice to His wisdom with these words. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto to you.” Carry the knowledge of truth into the world, and I assure you that you will always have a plumb-line from which to build.  Amen.