Recovery from a Counselor's Perspective

Ten Thousand Foot View

(Restorative Recover from an Addictions Counselor’s Perspective)

Theology in the Trenches

by Kathleen Kjolhaug

(Last week we heard from a family member who had a loved one in the midst of restorative recovery. This week, we hear from an Addictions Counselor. Her name is Mindy.)

“What that person has done is NOT who they are,” emphasizes Mindy Broden, from northern Minnesota who has worked professionally for years in this area as a licensed Alchohol and Drug Counselor (LADC). She understands addiction from the inside out.

“Loving the person, believing the best in them while not enabling is key. Developing compassion by understanding what drives this disease is my job. I educate families about the trauma that often plays into the cycle. The addict begins trying to fill internal pain which often leads to more emptiness. Emptiness can only be filled by God, and the trauma needs to be dealt with by healing the mind.”

“Christ’s words were always filled with faith, hope, and love and since the greatest of these is love, we must love. As we wade into the deep, we must wear the Gospel well. ‘His power is perfected in weakness’ (2 Cor. 12:9). His Word is true and application is a must.”

Mindy doesn’t mince words. “Research has proven that spirituality is a key component in healing brokenness. One of my favorite quotes is from the Big Book of A.A. (Alcoholic Anonymous). ‘What we have is the daily reprieve based upon our spiritual condition.’ I’m a huge proponent of the 12 step program because it is biblically-based. When we do things how God instructs us, our success rates are better. Recovery is summed up in confession, repentance, and living the amends made.”

Why can a counselor help with intervention rather than a family member? Mindy knows about that all too well as she eagerly leans in as if desiring to speak into every person on this planet. “One of the greatest gifts a counselor can offer is that they are not connected, as family members are, to the one they are counseling. It gives the counselor a ten-thousand-foot view above what is going on in the lives of those who are struggling.

 They are not part of the problem and thus, they can see the problem from a different vantage point. I can see all of the different elements that are contributing to the problem. The problem is not the person who has the addiction; the problem is the behaviors born out of the addiction. When a loved one can separate themselves from the behaviors of the addict, one can still love the addict but not condone the behavior.”

What does that look like? In the words of one of her clients, “You believed in me, and you told me the truth even when I didn’t like hearing it.” Hard truth with love is what Mindy offers to those who desire restoration.

“My job as an Addictions Counselor is to help families understand addiction. I will then refer family members to individual counseling and Al-Anon. Al-Anon helps in understanding what they cannot control and how to love people where they are at in all areas of their lives.”

"Families often want to “fix” the problems for their loved ones. That’s natural because it’s rooted in a deep desire for the roads upon which their loved ones travel, to not be difficult or dangerous. However, the worse thing a family can do is to enable. Doing things for those in recovery who can do for themselves is not a healthy path to travel. Families try to protect from the natural consequences and this hinders the restoration process. It hinders because now they have to hit an even lower bottom than what the family was trying to protect them from."

"Those who are in recovery truly desire to own their own process of it. According to outcome-based research, success rates for individuals struggling with addiction are far higher when they are the ones choosing to reach out for help that is not only needed but available to them.”

The last piece of knowledge that Mindy would like to impart is for the family. It’s the family’s job is to heal separately because if the addict does not heal, the family still has to be okay. Thus, learning to love in ways everlasting means that He remains on that throne…not the addict.

The following two weeks will be from a person who is going to share how he has found tremendous hope within the process of restorative recovery. 

 In the meantime, I leave you with John 16:33. “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  Amen.